Today was definitely one for the books (...or the blog!).
Since Saturday, I've been stuck with a migraine that I absolutely could not shake. I had tried everything and was ready to give up and go to the doctor for the procedure I would have to go through if it did not stop. Everyone had been praying for me and I had been making the most of my week that I could through the pain. This morning... It wasn't hurting anymore! Thank you, Lord.
So I was at the office today, working on paperwork and preparing for my presentations tomorrow at a high school, and hanging out with Sabrina - I love when I'm able to have company in the office while I work. After lunch, I got an email from one of my Student Mentors. Her mom had been in ICU all week and she hadn't been able to complete her assignments for the week. I quickly responded, letting her know that she was more than welcome to have an extension until our next meeting, that I would be praying for her and her mom, and if there was anything I could do to help for her to let me know. I prayed and then was thankful that the Mentor had contacted me when she was in a bind - this is something I highly stressed to the team at our meeting last Friday.
Almost immediately after our e-mails, another one of my Student Mentors called me on my cell. As usual, I answered excitedly (I love when the mentors contact me! My team rocks!) ....on the other end, he did not sound excited at all. My heart sank as he asked if he could be pulled from the team... I couldn't even really respond so I told him I was listening, tell me what's going on. He explained to me that he remembered from the meeting how much I stressed to them to let me know when things aren't going so good and how his wife had left him... how he didn't think he would have the time to devote to the team now... he sounded so down...
Ephesians 5:1-2 says "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." And John 13:34 says "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."
So again, I say that I love my mentor team. My response flooded naturally from me. (Let's call the mentor "Joe" to make the next part easier to communicate to you.)
NO. No, Joe, I can't let you do that. I know I told you all at the meeting that if things became overwhelming for you that I would pull you from the team but this is different.. You've just lost something more valuable than I can imagine, I can't let you leave the team right now. What I WILL do is waive all participation requirements for you, Joe, and I want you to come anytime you CAN participate with us and I will send you any and every update through e-mail that I can... Joe, this is exactly what the mentor team is for - being the family you need to help you make it through when things get hard. I just can't let you give up.
He was quiet for a moment and then began to thank me a few times, he was blown away by how much I wanted him to stay on the team through this hurricane that's going through his life.. and grateful.
"One more thing... You've just done so much for me but.. I really need a job now. Do you know anyone that's hiring?" I told him to send me a resume (whip one together), I would fix it over the Mardi Gras break, and help him do searching until we found him something.. By the end of the conversation, Joe sounded like he had more hope than when I first answered the phone call.
I got off the phone after holding it together on the phone, cupped my face in my hands, and turned around to Sabrina to explain what happened ....and I cried. Gosh, I want to again just sharing again his story. Lord, I praise you for my job.. I praise you for "Joe" and I crossing paths.. I praise you for the phone call and being able to love with no strings or regrets just.. love.. help.. show compassion.. Lord, thank you.
So then a while later, Logan (another student - not a mentor) came in and the three of us got to talking, sharing God's truth with Sabrina about some of the things she is struggling with.. Man, the conversation got super real for a while and I praise you for using me through that today as well, Lord.
Then Sabrina mentioned praying for a new job.. "You should apply places," I said. "Places that are closed on Sunday like.. darrells, hobby lobby, pappys.. Hey! Stellar Beans is closed on Sundays!" So Sabrina used my phone to call Stellar. They weren't hiring but the lady from GiGi's was there and she needed someone to start work this coming Monday! We raced from Sowela to Stellar to meet with the lady... Sabrina got the job!!!!!
All in all... God is so good. Like.. Perfectly good. I am absolutely honored, humbled, in adoration of our Lord, the Father... Jesus. Oh man.. A super tough, emotional, and beautifully breath-taking day to be walking with the Lord.
I live for this.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Answered Prayer
Last night at the end of our Wednesday night college community group, my prayer wasn't many words but it was so what I meant and what I needed.
"Father, I just want to see You... nothing else I could pray for right now compares to that."
It had nothing to do with any one else's prayer or anyone other than the Lord and me. We started a new book called Tangible Kingdom Primer this past week and Tuesday night I poured my heart out to God.. The questions in the book didn't exactly match up with what came from my heart but that doesn't really matter.
I desperately wanted nothing more than to fall madly in love with Jesus again.. with the creator of the universe.. with the creator of me.. the one who breathed the stars into existence and calls every single one by name.. the Lord of my life. Because without Him, I am lost without a hope. I remember what that feels like and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.. But I'd been slipping so bad, getting caught up in churchy things, in doing good, in behaving the right way... in pleasing everyone else before Jesus.
"... I don't want to grow if I can't reconnect with You the way I did then." When I was getting my first taste of life with Christ, I was on fire and telling everyone I could about the God that came to earth and died for us... about His crazy love! How could anyone ever become calm about Jesus and still say they KNOW Him??
"Father, I just want to see You..." Wednesday the cry was even stronger. At group, I shared these things that I had written in our primer book, making myself vulnerable and exposing myself ....and realized that, for whatever reason, I had stopped letting myself be vulnerable.. It was hard. For the first time, being honest about what was really going on with me was hard.. More and more, I was realizing just how far I'd slipped.
The Lord answers prayers, that's for sure! Today (Thursday) was so breath-takingly glorious - I saw Jesus everywhere! Twice I was complimented on my smile and how it encouraged people after seeing the Lord in them, working through them, etc. had encouraged me! Blessing after blessing after opportunity to worship after opportunity to share His great love!
Tomorrow is going to be even better, I just know it. God is so good!
"Father, I just want to see You... nothing else I could pray for right now compares to that."
It had nothing to do with any one else's prayer or anyone other than the Lord and me. We started a new book called Tangible Kingdom Primer this past week and Tuesday night I poured my heart out to God.. The questions in the book didn't exactly match up with what came from my heart but that doesn't really matter.
I desperately wanted nothing more than to fall madly in love with Jesus again.. with the creator of the universe.. with the creator of me.. the one who breathed the stars into existence and calls every single one by name.. the Lord of my life. Because without Him, I am lost without a hope. I remember what that feels like and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.. But I'd been slipping so bad, getting caught up in churchy things, in doing good, in behaving the right way... in pleasing everyone else before Jesus.
"... I don't want to grow if I can't reconnect with You the way I did then." When I was getting my first taste of life with Christ, I was on fire and telling everyone I could about the God that came to earth and died for us... about His crazy love! How could anyone ever become calm about Jesus and still say they KNOW Him??
"Father, I just want to see You..." Wednesday the cry was even stronger. At group, I shared these things that I had written in our primer book, making myself vulnerable and exposing myself ....and realized that, for whatever reason, I had stopped letting myself be vulnerable.. It was hard. For the first time, being honest about what was really going on with me was hard.. More and more, I was realizing just how far I'd slipped.
The Lord answers prayers, that's for sure! Today (Thursday) was so breath-takingly glorious - I saw Jesus everywhere! Twice I was complimented on my smile and how it encouraged people after seeing the Lord in them, working through them, etc. had encouraged me! Blessing after blessing after opportunity to worship after opportunity to share His great love!
Tomorrow is going to be even better, I just know it. God is so good!
2nd Sunday @ Beans
Maaaan, I was so nervous this morning. But also excited!
It was our 2nd Sunday gathering at our new location (Stellar Beans coffee) for theCityChurch, the first Sunday gathering that my drums made an appearance (no, I did not play but Dave will teach me!), and I've known since Thursday that I was going to be the one to share my testimony of how God has been working in my life and what I've learned recently on my walk with Christ (see the post prior to this one).
I was so excited, I love talking about my Heavenly Father! I could go on for hours if given the opportunity to do so! ..but so far everyone else had only taken a couple minutes to share their story.. I know I'm long winded when it comes to how I've seen and felt God at work so the nerves started... Oh man, if I'm not careful it'll be 2 o-clock before anyone gets to exchange their prayer requests, haha. I'd journaled my thoughts earlier in the week to capture them before my A.D.D. had a chance to demolished them and then put them here on my blog.. which I think only enabled my nerves to get me jittery even more.
After worship, Paul gave me my cue. [First mental note - Pattie, don't forget there are kids present, haha!] I'd been praying during worship and clearing my head of anything other than Jesus and my tiny little story. A minute or so into sharing, I froze!! [Second mental note - Jesus is so much more amazing that this story, those drums we played in here last Sunday evening were amazing too (sounds of the drums rang through my head).. I like Stellar Beans, we have church here. OH! Wait, that's now and I am speaking!! ugh, attention deficit disorder strikes again.] I pulled my thoughts back together and admitted I was nervous. Yes! That was exactly what I needed to say because as soon as I said that I was nervous to the church gathered, it seemed so silly - I know everyone there (almost) and like half of them already know my testimony. I continued on and then looked down next to Paul and saw the red light - I'm being recorded on video! [Third mental note - Agh!! lol.] Nah, it wasn't so bad. I did note out loud that I realized I was being filmed but continued. I don't like being filmed but at the same time... I'm so happy Paul thought of it. So many times I've wished things I'd said about what I've learned, seen, experienced on my walk with Christ had been recorded because sometimes they just fly out of me and I generally forget to write any of it down. I've "joked" about audio-recording my life to help me learn and grow... I don't know, it's weird.. once I realized the camera was going, my words just felt easier and I wanted to talk about the Lord even more. Then Dave started agreeing with me out loud about what I'd learned. Man, that was such encouragement to me! It wasn't until the end that it dawned on me that there was a non-Christian in the room! And one that I've recently met and been hanging around outside of the "church setting."
Then Paul gave a message on prayer. I'm always down for hearing about prayer and learning more about praying and.. praying! I appreciate Paul's way of presenting the Gospel in a way that's easy to remember.. And how he keeps it real.. Jesus said ask, seek, and knock... So we should ask, seek, and knock. (And the knocking on the brick wall while seeking God and talking/praying to Him was actually good - I mean really, if while seeking God we were lead to a brick wall and Jesus had said to knock, we'd knock!)
After the message, Paul had me pull a chair up and sit so that everyone could pray over me. At first it was a little weird having so many hands on me but then Tara took me hand and my brothers and sisters began to pray over me... it was so positively comforting, I don't really know how to describe it but I felt God in that moment so strong in the little huddle. I opened my eyes at one point as if expecting to see Him right there in front of me.
I feel so filled with God's presence and goodness, I'm even more excited to see what this week brings.
Oh!! And I didn't cry!! =D
It was our 2nd Sunday gathering at our new location (Stellar Beans coffee) for theCityChurch, the first Sunday gathering that my drums made an appearance (no, I did not play but Dave will teach me!), and I've known since Thursday that I was going to be the one to share my testimony of how God has been working in my life and what I've learned recently on my walk with Christ (see the post prior to this one).
I was so excited, I love talking about my Heavenly Father! I could go on for hours if given the opportunity to do so! ..but so far everyone else had only taken a couple minutes to share their story.. I know I'm long winded when it comes to how I've seen and felt God at work so the nerves started... Oh man, if I'm not careful it'll be 2 o-clock before anyone gets to exchange their prayer requests, haha. I'd journaled my thoughts earlier in the week to capture them before my A.D.D. had a chance to demolished them and then put them here on my blog.. which I think only enabled my nerves to get me jittery even more.
After worship, Paul gave me my cue. [First mental note - Pattie, don't forget there are kids present, haha!] I'd been praying during worship and clearing my head of anything other than Jesus and my tiny little story. A minute or so into sharing, I froze!! [Second mental note - Jesus is so much more amazing that this story, those drums we played in here last Sunday evening were amazing too (sounds of the drums rang through my head).. I like Stellar Beans, we have church here. OH! Wait, that's now and I am speaking!! ugh, attention deficit disorder strikes again.] I pulled my thoughts back together and admitted I was nervous. Yes! That was exactly what I needed to say because as soon as I said that I was nervous to the church gathered, it seemed so silly - I know everyone there (almost) and like half of them already know my testimony. I continued on and then looked down next to Paul and saw the red light - I'm being recorded on video! [Third mental note - Agh!! lol.] Nah, it wasn't so bad. I did note out loud that I realized I was being filmed but continued. I don't like being filmed but at the same time... I'm so happy Paul thought of it. So many times I've wished things I'd said about what I've learned, seen, experienced on my walk with Christ had been recorded because sometimes they just fly out of me and I generally forget to write any of it down. I've "joked" about audio-recording my life to help me learn and grow... I don't know, it's weird.. once I realized the camera was going, my words just felt easier and I wanted to talk about the Lord even more. Then Dave started agreeing with me out loud about what I'd learned. Man, that was such encouragement to me! It wasn't until the end that it dawned on me that there was a non-Christian in the room! And one that I've recently met and been hanging around outside of the "church setting."
Then Paul gave a message on prayer. I'm always down for hearing about prayer and learning more about praying and.. praying! I appreciate Paul's way of presenting the Gospel in a way that's easy to remember.. And how he keeps it real.. Jesus said ask, seek, and knock... So we should ask, seek, and knock. (And the knocking on the brick wall while seeking God and talking/praying to Him was actually good - I mean really, if while seeking God we were lead to a brick wall and Jesus had said to knock, we'd knock!)
After the message, Paul had me pull a chair up and sit so that everyone could pray over me. At first it was a little weird having so many hands on me but then Tara took me hand and my brothers and sisters began to pray over me... it was so positively comforting, I don't really know how to describe it but I felt God in that moment so strong in the little huddle. I opened my eyes at one point as if expecting to see Him right there in front of me.
I feel so filled with God's presence and goodness, I'm even more excited to see what this week brings.
Oh!! And I didn't cry!! =D
Staring at the Stars
Two years has really flown by, I'm like checking my pockets to see where it went..
Sunday was the 2nd anniversary of Tod's death. I didn't expect it to hit me this hard at all.. especially not half way through the week. I've filled my days as much as I possibly can only to realize I'm only prolonging facing what's really going on. And causing others to worry and stumble spiritually.. and then get frustrated with them.
I felt stupid for even being this upset about a death that was two years ago.. until tonight at the park. I was so worn out that I just wanted to go home. Instead, Ryan & I went and laid in the grass and stared up at the stars. We talked for a few minutes and then I realized that I was doing EXACTLY what I did two years ago (before I knew God). I was laying down outside, staring up at the stars fighting back the pain of losing someone I loved so much.. and I realized that I'd never let myself grieve or show any emotion for it. Did Tod even know God? Where is Tod? I can't make an exception (mentally) simply because I love him.. so out there in the grass I just... cried. I spent an amazing 5 minutes with God as I just cried.. I felt His comfort wash over me. Not like an 'everything is ok' comfort.. but His love for my breaking heart.. I so love God for that, I'm so thankful that I can pour my heart out to Him and feel His love through all of my trouble and worries.
Sunday was the 2nd anniversary of Tod's death. I didn't expect it to hit me this hard at all.. especially not half way through the week. I've filled my days as much as I possibly can only to realize I'm only prolonging facing what's really going on. And causing others to worry and stumble spiritually.. and then get frustrated with them.
I felt stupid for even being this upset about a death that was two years ago.. until tonight at the park. I was so worn out that I just wanted to go home. Instead, Ryan & I went and laid in the grass and stared up at the stars. We talked for a few minutes and then I realized that I was doing EXACTLY what I did two years ago (before I knew God). I was laying down outside, staring up at the stars fighting back the pain of losing someone I loved so much.. and I realized that I'd never let myself grieve or show any emotion for it. Did Tod even know God? Where is Tod? I can't make an exception (mentally) simply because I love him.. so out there in the grass I just... cried. I spent an amazing 5 minutes with God as I just cried.. I felt His comfort wash over me. Not like an 'everything is ok' comfort.. but His love for my breaking heart.. I so love God for that, I'm so thankful that I can pour my heart out to Him and feel His love through all of my trouble and worries.
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huge reminder from God
This past Thursday, I met up with Mark at starbucks. It was the first time I'd seen him in person since the night I accepted Christ in the Crystal's parking lot.. which was the first time I met Mark. I also got to meet his friend Rick (who brought a friend named Jimmy). We talked about God, His Grace, Jesus, and what God is going in our lives, in us, through us, and around us for four hours.
All in all, it was a huge reminder from God that he is SO reigning in my life and those around me.. that He's got big plans, that he loves me, that I am His.. how perfect I'm not and how completely okay and normal that is... how I don't HAVE to devote my life to serving Him but how much happier I will be because I am anyway..
I felt His comfort so strong.. my fears just melted. He woke me up and called me to Himself and nothing can separate that.. His love is so great, I'm struggling to wrap my mind around it. At the same time, I love Him back even more when I realize each time how much I don't deserve His love and yet He gives His love to me anyway!
I want to live a life that He might, for a single moment somewhere along the line, be proud of. Like Chan said, I so want a 'well done, good and faithful servant' when I see Him, face to face. That's the treasure I want to have in heaven. That's what I want to lay at His feet. Nothing else matters. Nothing.
Rather than be afraid of what He might have planned for my life, I'm so thankful that He has that plan! Wow, have I got SO much to pray for and look forward to! I'm so honored.. humbled to even know or have a clue to a speck of that plan.. theCity.. that alone from Him sends my hope sky rocketing!
All in all, it was a huge reminder from God that he is SO reigning in my life and those around me.. that He's got big plans, that he loves me, that I am His.. how perfect I'm not and how completely okay and normal that is... how I don't HAVE to devote my life to serving Him but how much happier I will be because I am anyway..
I felt His comfort so strong.. my fears just melted. He woke me up and called me to Himself and nothing can separate that.. His love is so great, I'm struggling to wrap my mind around it. At the same time, I love Him back even more when I realize each time how much I don't deserve His love and yet He gives His love to me anyway!
I want to live a life that He might, for a single moment somewhere along the line, be proud of. Like Chan said, I so want a 'well done, good and faithful servant' when I see Him, face to face. That's the treasure I want to have in heaven. That's what I want to lay at His feet. Nothing else matters. Nothing.
Rather than be afraid of what He might have planned for my life, I'm so thankful that He has that plan! Wow, have I got SO much to pray for and look forward to! I'm so honored.. humbled to even know or have a clue to a speck of that plan.. theCity.. that alone from Him sends my hope sky rocketing!
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