behind

Lately I just feel so far behind. It's been keeping me restless for a while and the longer I'm unemployed, the more I can't just ignore it. I'm 24 now and yet thought I had it together so much more at 23 and even more together at 22... I made decisions then that I thought were the right ones, the last thing I thought was that I'd end up more behind than were I was when I made those decisions.. Haha.. decisions made on faith and a passion for God's kingdom.
Maybe I wasn't ready.. I mean, I thought I was.. but now I just feel like I got lost, distracted, and even went through a period of depression that did SO much damage relationship-wise.. Which ultimately got me.. here. Behind.  I feel like I should have more of my life together by now.. I haven't been in college for a couple of years, the last place I should be is unemployed and living with my parents. I feel like I should be somewhat successful by now yet I've never felt more of the opposite.
I feel so absolutely stuck.. this past week (or two) has been hard. I'm struggling with jealousy - feeling replaced. At the same time, it makes sense to utilize people that have more of a church background and know more about church/religion/God than I do.. which leads me back to 'maybe I wasn't ready.'  But feeling replaced is so bringing me to a halt, causing me to not even want to try... especially since I feel like I'd just be trying to impress people.. It's a vicious cycle - when I do try (and the more I try), I'm just even more... stuck.