refresh button

Between all plans failing, feeling like my family is falling apart, and being obsessed over by a student there were plenty of distractions all at once. Oh! And my wisdom teeth are on the move again so my entire face hurts. (This past Friday made one month of no smoking though.)

With everything going on/going "wrong", I quickly began to feel trapped. I do not respond well to feeling controlled or even feeling pinned down for any reason... likely one of the reasons I am single.

Seriously though, I'm the type that if you tell me my hair is too short, I will make it as short as possible; demand that I don't talk to a certain person and I will ONLY talk to that person; get me feeling guilty and try to get me to stay in one spot or if I feel you becoming dependant on me... I'm going to run.

I woke up Saturday morning knowing that I wanted to be alone. I need that time - just me and God. So after helping Glen and Jordan move to their new place, I took off. It had been such a beautiful day and the sunset was no exception. I put my phone on silent and cranked up the volume (passion cd, Chris Tomlin, Phil Wickham, and Toby Mac). I spent most of the time driving but really that's when I have a lot of my conversations with God.

I ended up past Grand Chenier and turned onto this really wide gravel highway when I saw a sign for a place called Freshwater City, LA. I'd never heard of it before so I figured there couldn't be much to it which, well, made it the perfect place to go.

A trip to nowhere... with no one... expecting nothing...
Just to be with my creator and hear only Him.

IT WAS PHENOMENAL! I really felt His presence and love. There were birds randomly flying around and chirping at night. Some bigger birds standing in the marsh would stretch their necks to watch me as I passed. Then there was the silly raccoon. I rolled my car to a stop when I saw the raccoon at the side of the road. We watched one another for a minute before the raccoon did a forward flip/roll into the grass and out of sight. (On the way home, I saw a coyote.)

The most amazing during the entire trip was when I knew it was safe enough to stop the car (no traffic)... keep in mind thos road is winding me out through nothing but marsh - there's nothing else around except the Gulf of Mexico. Once I had stopped, a young deer stepped out onto the road. It stood there a minute looking around, shook its head much like a dog does when its ears are wet. Then it began to jump around playfully on the road. I followed the animal down the road until it went into the grass of the marsh on the inland side of the road. With my window down, I made clicking noises at the deer. I would love to say the deer came over to me but... it stared at me and then continued on through the marsh. I couldn't help but laugh. I've seen deer before.. but this one seriously moved like it was enjoying stomping through the puddles and the marsh. Who knew that there would be a deer that far out in the first place? The young deer was the last animal, out of all I saw, that I would've thought I might see.

The time I spent Saturday alone in nature to listen to God was an absolute necessity and I need to get back to doing it more often. I need that reminder that, just like all creations in this world, I am His and He loves me. I so love the time I spend alone with Him and wish everyday could be like that.

Now its time to get up. Week 2 @ the Cavern!!