Healing.. unexpectedly

Sometimes things we don't want to do or help with because they seem silly, or lame, or even trivial.. are the exact things that God puts in our path to heal us.. unexpectedly.

My church had been preparing to help with an elementary school's father daughter dance and, honestly it wasn't something I wanted to go to. Helping with graphics and preparation was one thing... But going? I was still battling the urge not to go as I was driving to the school today. And even once I was there, I wanted to run.

I've forgiven my father for what he did to me as a child, and everything since then.. but forgiving and truly healing are so different. So many memories have been coming back over the past few weeks leading up to today.. nothing overwhelming, just memories I had locked away. On purpose.

God's plan was different. Better.

I watched all the dad's with their daughters at the dance and saw how special it was to not only the little girls, but for the dads as well....and I just felt... awkward, when I stopped to let myself think about it.

I never had those memories, happily dancing with my dad... Even when things were better, I never would be seen dancing with my dad - he always embarrassed me and I felt like it was creepy. All the pictures of the dads with their daughters were beautiful.. I never had any of those.

While I felt like I didn't need a dad growing up... I did. I still do. I'm picking up on that fact now. I'm broken.

So the father daughter dance wasn't silly, lame, or trivial.. in fact, it was necessary and monumental. Life is hard and not just for me. It's hard for.. well, everyone. Daughters need their dads.. I'm so glad God talked me into attending my first father daughter dance so I could dance a little healing with my Heavenly Father. I'm so thankful that the Father is so gentle in restoring the battle scars in my life with certain things that are hard for me. His love for me still blows me away.