the moment of.. 'Stop'

So glad it's Friday night. My body has been trying to get sick for a couple days now and... unless I sleep it off tonight, my body is going to temporarily win. My throat is so sore and I'm feeling really worn out. Ha, I should've known Wednesday when I was fighting to stay awake in a meeting that this way coming. So yeah, I'm glad it's Friday night - Saturday is usually my most laid back day. While my body may be needing rest, my spirit is so high today. I had a meeting out just south of the airport today that was so incredibly fun that I feel so hopeful again.. I walked out feeling a little taller (and not because of the shoes, haha!).

After work, I stopped by to visit with Granny (plus she said I had mail and a box of stuff). I love her so much. It was good to see her having such a good day.. We talked about family, what was weighing on her heart and then about church and HomeworkNight! I love it whenever Granny is able to be pro- whatever it is I'm also involved in, she's like my cheerleader in those moments.

I guess the point of this blog is really because today seems like one of those times when I'm able to see the world outside of myself... and realize how much change has been happening in my life and directly around me.  It's honestly been a whirlwind.. Even sitting in the office south of town today and writing out alllllllll of the places I've lived in the past five years and having to make extra lines because there was only four lines made me realize how much I almost seem to constantly go through changes... So the point... The best way to describe it, I guess, is through trying to provide a visual. Visual: I'll tie it into physics.. Anytime a bullet is shot straight into the air (or a rock shot straight into the air from a sling shot), there's that moment in time when the bullet (or rock) actually stops.. It's not moving up and it's not quite yet falling. It's simply... in the air. Today feels like that moment for me.. though it's not really about climbing and falling so much as it is coming to a 'stop' before my 'direction' is about to change and take off rocketing again.

Part of me is sad and afraid, wanting to cling to where I am.. But it's also good.. Some things might be easier, many things are going to be harder but I know that God has it all planned out. In some ways I do feel like I've failed so far, especially as far as leadership goes. And it's tempting to be discouraged and think that with this upcoming change, I'll be even further away from where God wants me than when it started.. That I'm not even going to have time for it all now... It's been so easy to fit time in for things with where I've been the past nine months or so.. 


...it's that moment of 'stop' when it's all just... in the air.