Tension.

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of my cousin's spiritual birth. It's so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that an entire year has already passed. So much has changed in this one year..

A year ago, I was learning how to crawl as a Christian... Now on a team starting a new church.

A year ago, I was flat b.r.o.k.e. and living in the upstairs half of a house of someone I didn't really know other than a few key factors that made it not a good situation (with TONS of fleas)... Now I'm in my grandparents' house in obedience to God.

I wouldn't change where God is taking my life for the world... but at the same time I've never felt so distant from God since following Jesus. I remember being so constantly in love with God.. KNOWING and trusting that together, He and I could do anything..

He warned me it would be hard. That there would/will be death.. Why is it that the more He reveals His faithfulness to me, the more I seem to be setting my anchor down? Or worse, running in reverse.. Romans 7, right? Because I don't want to go in reverse, I want to be madly in love with God again.. I want to love more like Jesus loves. Again.